Happiness is Giving Your Full Attention - to Just About Anything

There's a book I turn to again and again that I feel I must say something about here. It's called The One Who is Not Busy: Connecting with Work in a Deeply Satisfying Way, by Darlene Cohen.

I'm convinced that finding happiness at work happens more reliably when we're paying attention to how we're thinking and what we're choosing to focus our attention on.

In other words, it's not just about finding that dream set of circumstances to plug yourself into - you have a lot of power and control on your own to make it great or suffer mightily.

Let's face it - a lot of us are stressed out. There's too much to do, the demands are overwhelming, and at the heart of much of our distress is our extreme level of busyness.

We can find some relief through taking breaks. But what Darlene Cohen's small, wise book discusses is a way to take the Zen approach to consciousness, known as simultaneous inclusion, and use it to create an entirely different relationship with busyness and our work.

I don't want to lecture about Zen concepts and summarize koans here, though. Suffice to say, if you're curious about how you can learn to focus your full attention on what you are doing, whether it is presenting a new ad campaign to a client or washing dishes, and consequently experience a feeling of flow and increased well-being, read the book!

I will give you a sneak peek at the two key skills the book offers, and how I think acquiring them would help me.

Skill #1: The Ability to Narrow or Widen the Mind's Focus at Will

If I can get the hang of this, I can focus deeply on a task at hand as if it's the only thing in my world and then come "to the surface" whenever I want and place that task in relation to the general scheme of things.

I do the small steps well and with full focus without losing the big picture.

Skill #2: The Mental Flexibility to Shift the Mind's Focus at Will from One Thing to Another

If I figure this one out, I can move from narrow task to narrow task to narrow task quickly, letting one go completely before dipping into the other. I leave work at work. I don't get stuck in compulsive thinking or fretting.

When there's too much to do I simply do the work, mindfully absorbed in it.

It's understandable to cling to our busyness - it can make us feel alive and it protects us from emptiness - but if life feels particularly mechanical to you right now, try some of the practices in this book (many of them are meditative).

You may find that simply changing your focus changes your entire experience.

Heather Mundell
Dream Big Coaching Services
www.dreambigcoaching.com
heather@dreambigcoaching.com

 

Comments

[Rachel Whalley]

Nice entry, Heather. I agree that happiness is to be found in anything, if you look for it.

I was working with a friend once and giving her a lot of loving, healing attention. In the middle of our work, she went into a deep meditation and I could feel her absence, or perhaps less connection with her. I started to feel left out or lonely...then I realized that I could give love to anything and experience fulfillment. It may sound funny, but I devoted my loving attention to a bag of sea salt while my friend's attention was elsewhere, and I felt just as connected, just as complete.

This story may sound a bit "out there," but I hope it gives some support to your point, which is that everyone has the choice to experience happiness, wholeness, and fulfillment in their lives, regardless of the particulars of their circumstances. Your thoughts are your choice, once you come to see them that way.

[Heather Mundell]

Thanks Rachel, for adding your perspective!

I think for many of us stopping the churn of worry over our circumstances is a tough challenge. But it's worth attempting!

[Chris Bailey]

Heather, I like this a lot. One of my own personality quirks is that I have a difficult time fully switching my attention from one activity to another. Once I get completely engaged in something, I find it hard to let it go. But then, I have the opposite problem, too. I can skitter along and multi-task on a very shallow level...sort of a busyness monkey mind.

Sounds like I'm a good candidate to work on Skill #2.

[Tom Volkar]

Mastering skill #2 (Skill #2: The Mental Flexibility to Shift the Mind's Focus at Will from One Thing to Another) would indeed increase productivity and that satisfying feeling that comes with completed intentions.

By nature I’m a variety worker. I’m always driven to follow my freshest stream of energy. Since I work multiple streams, it works out. But the most challenging issue is to smoothly switch between streams without falling prey to the inevitable feelings of guilt.

This skill is something I’ll focus on more. I find by raising our consciousness about where we are we can choose what’s important to us in present moment power.

[Eileen Chadnick]

What a great post! This is so true. It's a really interesting thread within the concept of 'mindfulness'. Being present -- but also paying attention to what you are paying attention to. Then if it's not working for you (i.e. negative energy), shift your attention to what really matters.

Thanks Heather. You are right on the mark and I think I'll check this book out...sounds great!

Eileen Chadnick from Big Cheese Coaching