Optimism is Your Career Ally

Photo by Vanessa Pike-Russell 

Is the glass half empty or half full?

How you see it has a huge bearing on how you recover from setbacks and how happy you are in general.

I'd like to say that I was born an optimist. I'd also like to say that I can eat all the chocolate I want without gaining a pound and that the sun is shining here in Seattle on January 7. But unfortunately none of this is true.

So while I nibble on small bits of chocolate and stoically don my rain parka, I'm working on cultivating optimism. And here's why: my career and my life are going to be better for it.

Here's what sets apart the pessimists from the optimists, according to Dr. Martin Seligman, author of Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life,

"The defining characteristic of pessimists is that they tend to believe bad events will last a long time, will undermine everything they do, and are their own fault. The optimists, who are confronted with the same hard knocks of the world, think about misfortune in the opposite way. They tend to believe defeat is just a temporary setback, that its causes are confined to this one case...Confronted by a bad situation, they perceive it as a challenge and try harder."

Our careers are filled with setbacks. We may have a bad boss, a poor performing employee, a project that has gotten way out of hand, unrealistic quotas, a boring job, too much to do, budget cuts, layoffs, or unethical leadership.

Career change offers up its own share of challenges, setbacks and bad times. Lack of personal contacts in the desired field, lack of education, low starting salary in our desired position, and so on. I'm getting depressed just writing about it!

I've coached a lot of people over the last several years on all kinds of career and life issues. The optimists simply have an easier time of it, and they get where they want faster.

The good news in all this is that even people with pessimistic tendencies can cultivate optimism. This involves learning a new set of cognitive skills, as opposed to repeating happy affirmations and hoping that someday you believe them.

Seligman's book explains these skills in detail. They are rather fascinating and take some practice and some time to get the hang of.

I highly recommend you buy the book or check it out from the library for all the information, but here are a few highlights around the so-called "ABCD" skills model.

A. Notice when you're experiencing adversity, even just a tiny example.
"I can't get a meeting with my boss this week."

B. Notice your beliefs (i.e., your interpretation) about this adversity.
"My boss is always ducking me. Why doesn't she care about what I'm doing?"

C. Notice how you feel and/or what you do (i.e., the consequences).
"I'm worried that I'm not going to be considered for the promotion I'm wanting, that I'm no longer a "player". I'm angry that I'm disregarded."

D. Distract yourself or dispute your beliefs.
Immediately shift your attention to stop ruminating. Or use evidence, alternative views, or decatastrophize. (These are very powerful skills that I just can't do justice here. Get the book!)

A little pessimism can be constructive. It can keep us from doing rash, foolhardy things. Back in our evolutionary history our pessimism mirrored the grim realities of the times: danger lurking around the next corner, most children dying before their 5th birthday, not enough food to last the winter, etc. 

But now for most of us, disaster is far less imminent. Yet the pull of pessimism can keep us stuck, unhappy, even depressed. We need optimism to inspire and fuel our plans and dreams and to propel us forward into unchartered territory.

I am deciding to be hopeful that the sun will return to Seattle, among other things. What are you deciding to be optimistic about today?

Heather Mundell
Dream Big Coaching Services
www.dreambigcoaching.com
heather@dreambigcoaching.com

Comments

[Working Girl]

So do you really think a naturally pessimistic person can "learn" to be optimistic? Or will it always be a struggle? I really do believe many traits are inborn. The longer I live the more I believe that nature has it all over nurture.

Maybe pessimists could learn to somehow use their negativity for good. You know--making a strength out of a shortcoming. I think about this sometimes--what "faults" can be played with so they turn into advantages. This way you're using what you've already got, not trying to adopt an unnatural (for you) behavior.

[Heather Mundell]

Working Girl:

I think if a pessimistic person wants to become *more* optimistic, she can learn to do so by changing her thoughts. This takes effort, practice, and dedication! Depending on how pessimistic her tendencies are, it could be a challenge for a long time, no doubt about it.

If pessimists are happy with their pessimism, then that's great. Then the process of using pessimism as a strength, related to career happiness and career planning realms, comes from answering these kinds of questions: "How can my natural pessimistic tendencies work for me?" "What advantages do I see from following my pessimism?"

Too often I find that my pessimism works against me in ways that I am really tired of. So I'm motivated to look at alternative, more optimistic ways people view events and try them on for size.

Thanks for your comment!

[Rachel Whalley]

Just yesterday (January 8th in Seattle, 39 degrees and raining) I said to a friend, "I can see summer coming."

An exercise that I've done when my pessimistic beliefs rear their heads is to write down everything I'm afraid of and worried about. Then, on another sheet of paper, I respond to those worries from my "other" point of view...the part of me that knows something isn't true. For instance, my first note might be "I'm not really helping anyone with my work," and the response would be "Five people have made a point in telling me this week how much my healing has meant to them."
Obviously, I'm a fan of the *dispute* technique.

[Working Girl]

Well, I don't know. Hmmmm. I think we can TRY to change parts of our natures but that it will never feel absolutely comfortable. Am I just being pessimistic?!

But, to be sure, it is good to strive in a positive direction.

Summer? Rachel, are you in the same Seattle I am?? Anyway, I love winter, love the rain, love the gloom, love the dark, and am always a tiny little bit sorry to see summer arrive (although I'm a huge fan of summer fruit and vegetables).