How Advanced Degrees Affect Women's Lives

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I am one of the few women in my now 10-year-old mom/baby group with "just" a B.A. degree.

Several have at least a Master's degree, and there are a couple of PhD's. Many of my friend's spouses or partners have advanced degrees, too.

I read this article from CareerJournal.com with interest, about a large new study conducted by a law professor at Washington & Lee that's coming out next week on women and advanced degrees.

Among the findings is the fact that women with M.B.A.'s are more likely to divorce than men. (Apparently the men to whom they are married don't also have an M.B.A., otherwise their divorce rate would be just as high, right?)

In fact, women with law and medical degrees are more likely to divorce than their male counterparts as well.

Forget divorce, the study also states that women with advanced degrees are abstaining from marriage in the first place at a much higher rate than are men.

And here is where the rubber meets the road - the more women earn, the more likely they are to be single without children.

This rings true looking at my own world of contacts.

The good news is that my highly educated friends are all still married. Yet, for the most part, they have decided to be at home full-time with their families. In these cases there is a high-earning spouse, with a demanding career that takes up a whole bunch of time.

One of my friends told me once that she thought a family in the U.S. could support only one "high powered" career. Personally, I agree.

We all have our ideas of what a family needs in terms of time devoted to family life and attending to children, and two people working 80 hours a week is really pushing it. (I'm not a fan of any one person spending 80 hours a week at work as a matter of fact!)

So what to make of all this? It's more evidence that career planning and navigation is tricky work when you've got a partner and kids. That old slogan about "having it all" - well, it's time to decide what you really, really want, because you may not be getting it all, not all at one time anyway.

I'm all about optimism and "making it work", a la Tim Gunn. I've got a can-do attitude and lot of creativity. Yet navigating career and family life often involves compromises and feelings of ambivalence. It's important for me to acknowledge that in my own life, and it's important to many of my clients to do that themselves as well.

If this were a blog about social and political activism, I'd have a call for action right about now. But instead I'll have a call for reflection.

• Do you fit the statistics of this new study?
• How has an advanced degree (or lack thereof) affected your happiness in relationships or your decision to become or not become a parent?
• And does your advanced degree translate into high compensation? (For many folks, it does not, sometimes to their surprise.)
  
• What compromises have you made or do you make regarding career and family?
• Are these compromises OK with you?

Heather Mundell
Dream Big Coaching Services
www.dreambigcoaching.com
heather@dreambigcoaching.com

Comments

[Ankur]

Very good and well maintained website. thanks for sharing with others. love to visit again for updates.

Please comment on my blog and add me as a link

Thanks & Regards,

Ankur

http://managehrnetwork.blogspot.com/

[Ankur]

Very good and well maintained website. thanks for sharing with others. love to visit again for updates.

Please comment on my blog and add me as a link

Thanks & Regards,

Ankur

http://managehrnetwork.blogspot.com/

[Tiffany]

This is a really interesting - I want to read that report and see how far they dug on this! I wonder about the causation of this type of research - how much of this is just that the women who are more likely to have MBAs are also more likely to get divorced? I mean, since the divorce rate is so incredibly high in our country anyway!

[Heather Mundell]

Tiffany, I do cringe a bit when I'm citing statistics called out by other media regarding the results of studies. You ask good questions. Yes, what about causation vs. correlation?

What I find most intriguing is the dialogue this kind of research can open up on what we're doing with our lives relative to grad school, careers, advancement in careers, partnering and parenting. What do we expect vs. what do we find to be the reality, for instance.

The article made me think immediately about a particular friend who went through years of stress to earn a PhD in a field that would never earn her much money and that she ended up never working in because she got pregnant (after years of trying) and decided to be at-home full time. She revisits this decision at least quarterly - reviewing the factors, checking in with her satisfaction, resentment and guilt levels.

What seemed pretty cut and dried to her at one time became much more complex than she imagined it would.

[Mike]

Yeah sometimes it's difficult managing between your career and family and most often women suffer this issue. Women with high ambition often end up not having a family or end up loosing well I guess it's the responsibility to understand and help women accordingly.

Mike
http://collegematchingservice.com/

[Monica Parker]

Intriguing post.

I'm in my late 30's with a J.D. and single. I'd like to get married and have children. I don't think I've neglected relationships in exchange for career advancement; I just haven't met the right person yet. Then again my advanced degree may have something to do with it, I'm not sure.

I do agree with your friend though that one high-powered career per family is enough. As a lawyer-turned-entrepreneur, I do wonder how I would manage building my business, a husband's high-powered career, and children at the same time. It seems like something would have to give.

So then my question is if I'm the one giving something up, such as my business for raising the children, would I consider that to be a fair trade? My friends with children and advanced degrees who have taken a break from their high-powered careers (as their husbands maintain theirs) often feel that the trade is worth it. I can see how that could be so. I guess I'll just have to wait and see.

[Scott McArthur]

Great advice and I love the blog.

I have changed job from scientist to HR professional to consultant. Each step has been like a divorce but it has also been the right step. I can see me changing again in the future and will be sure to bookmark this list for referance!

[Heather Mundell]

Monica,

Personally I think wait and see is a sound strategy. We just don't know all the factors that will be in play when imagining a scenario such as how best to raise future children.

It's been my experience that everyone I've known who has opted out of the work world for a little while or a long while to take care of their kids has found it worth it. Even with the tradeoffs.

Thanks for adding to the discussion!

[Heather Mundell]

Scott,

Wow, those are some major career transitions! Interesting your comment about them seeming like divorces yet the right step. I think a lot of people assume that making the "right" change is going to be a universally exciting and positive experience - without the pain that you are alluding to.