life@work

Unemployed? Use Your Time to Learn Essential Skills

  If you're looking for work, you've probably been told to turn job seeking into a full-time job itself.

This message has its heart in the right place (i.e., get off the couch and turn off the TV), but in reality, I know few job seekers who literally spend 40+ hours per week in their job search efforts.

Unless you've got small children at home, chances are you've got a bit of extra time that you could spend in any number of ways - surfing the Net, buying groceries, planting bulbs, going to the gym.

But this time is your opportunity to learn essential skills that regularly you don't have time for that you've "always been meaning to get around to".

Online Degree Programs recently posted "100 Skills You Should Learn (for Free), While You're Unemployed" and I must say, there are some really good ones on this list.

A few of my personal faves:

• Expand your network
• Understand your emotional intelligence
• Cook
• Meditate
• Beat procrastination
• Overcome fear of failure
• Use Facebook productively
• Hack Google
• Prioritize
• Write better emails
• Handle rejection
• Use Twitter effectively
• Consider things from different points of view
• Negotiate

Admittedly, some of these skills take a lifetime of practice, and what better time to start on those than now?

I'd love to hear: What essential skills are you working on developing right now?

Photo by HTB, Creative Commons license

Setting Goals with 43 Things

Most of the time I view goal setting as a necessary yet tedious task. 43 Things is an online tool that can help you inject a bit more enthusiasm and even whimsy into the process.

I learned in Goals 101 class that when you want to get something done, you need to write it down and you need support from others, just for starters. Typically the most useful support comes in the form of some kind of accountability, as in "cattle prod", "feet to the fire", or "kick in the butt".

43 Things is a way you can "discover what's important, make it happen and share your progress", online. It takes away the isolation and boredom of trying to change a habit or do something new.

"What do you want to do with your life?" is the heady question that greets you in bold when you log in to 43 Things. If you don't have any idea, scroll through some of the thousands of things that other people are doing for inspiration.

Are you looking for a new job? As I write this, 1069 people on 43 Things are too. 184 people want to change careers. 1243 people want to get a better job.

One person wants to become a giraffe. Did I mention this can be a whimsical process?

Many people have generously written about how they accomplished their goals - check out their stories as you embark on fulfilling your goals. The ability to send and receive comments and "cheers" adds to the community feel of the site.

And all of this good stuff is free! Gotta love that.

Check out 43 People and 43 Places for more sharing about, you guessed it, people and places you know, want to go to, or have something to say about.

I'd love to know: Have you had success reaching your goals using an online tool such as 43 Things?

How to Manage Your Fear and Stress During a Career Transition

None of my career coaching clients tell me they hired me to help them manage their fear and stress. It doesn't occur to some of them that I can help in this area, and others don't realize that their fear and stress have become major obstacles.

For many people either considering or forced into making a career transition, fear and stress increase exponentially. Symptoms vary, and commonly include:

• Frequent headaches
• Increased irritability
• Loss of perspective
• Feelings of anxiousness
• Increased worry and rumination
• Difficulty sleeping
• Loss of appetite
• Increased alcohol consumption
• Inability to make a decision
• Perfectionism

We all know why fear and stress increase during career transitions. Suffice it to say that we feel threatened, vulnerable and uncomfortable.

So what can we do to manage fear and feelings of stress so that we can push forward with our job search or career exploration and not be paralyzed?

First notice how you know you are feeling fear or stress. Do you feel something specific in your body? Are you listening too much to the inner critic? Take action to relieve the pain where it exists.

• If your breathing is shallow, focus on breathing deeply.
• If you're thinking about being a bag lady, interrupt those thoughts and visualize your success.
• If you're paying attention to the words of the inner critic who is telling you that you'll never get the job, dispute the arguments with facts and as much optimism as you can muster.

Another approach comes from the NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) world. Richard Bandler, co-founder of NLP, gets people to imagine playing a movie of their experiences and feelings backward until it changes the feelings about the experience. (From Conversations with Richard Bandler, by Richard Bandler and Owen Fitzpatrick.)

Here are some additional ideas for how to manage stress and fear during your career transition. One size does not fit all, so pick a couple of strategies that appeal to you and try them out.

• Practice mindfulness, an unbeatable strategy for achieving peace and managing stress and fear.
• Identify your supporters and enlist their help (friends to listen, a professional resume writer, a career coach.)
• Get regular exercise to help burn off stress hormones and neurochemicals.
• Create as much structure and routine in your life as you can. This helps you stay moving and stay focused.
• Adjust your standards to reduce perfectionism. Many times done is better than perfect. If you've spent 20 hours tweaking your resume for the 3rd time this month, it's time to give it a rest.
• Focus on the positive. Trite but true. We tend to over focus on doom and gloom and discount what is going well.
• Don't try to control the uncontrollable. You can control what's on your resume, but not how hiring managers will perceive it. Recognize when something is out of your hands.
• Write down your worries and look at them only ten minutes per day (Richard Bandler and Owen Fitzpatrick).
• Change the tone of your inner negative voice and make it ridiculous, so that it doesn't sound stressed (Richard Bandler and Owen Fitzpatrick).
• Share your feelings. If you give them a voice and an audience they won't have as much power over you.
• Do something you enjoy every day. Laugh as much as possible.
• Identify the very next small action to take and do it. Repeat.

I'd love to know - how do you manage your fear and stress during a career transition?

What It Takes To Change Careers In Midlife

I get a number of calls every month from people in their late 30’s, 40's or 50's who want to know what kind of process I go through with clients to help them change careers. They’re all revved up about possibility and change. Some of them sign up for the adventure while others, sighing as they hang up the phone, do not. 

Changing careers after 10 or more years is an incredibly daunting task. It’s a complex process that takes a whole lot of energy, creativity, persistence and work. And chances are you are already engaged in a life that requires a whole lot of energy, creativity, persistence and work.

I was interested to read this useful piece that sums up the process of changing careers in mid-life. If you’re thinking about it, I recommend you check it out.

Here is an overview of the steps, with my editorial comments:

• Assess yourself (There are 468 ways to do this, including written exercises and various tests.)
• Know what’s important to you. (Pay, hours, tasks, challenge, industry, people contact, etc.)
• Find out what’s out there (Research online and/or use a career counselor or coach.)
• Narrow down career options. (Between two and four options is manageable and not overly limiting.)
• Talk to people in the field (informational interviews, attend professional association meetings).
• Volunteer, work as a temp, or moonlight to try something out first while minimizing risk.
• Engage your existing network of people to assist you. (This is one of your biggest advantages over younger career-changers, so use it!)

You've heard about all of these steps before - none are difficult to comprehend. A big challenge for most people is deciding exactly how and exactly when and exactly with whom they are going to accomplish the steps.

But perhaps the most daunting challenge is keeping up the interest, momentum and sheer stamina it takes to change careers, while at the same time navigating the ever-changing currents of the river called My Life Right Now.

Just because you're in the midst of engineering a career change doesn't mean you can't go through a re-org at work, or the dog won't die, or your teenager won't test your limits, or your spouse's mother won't need to move into assisted living, and so on and so forth.

It can be tempting in the face of such distractions to give up on your career change plan altogether. But with a little patience, and a caring person in your life to nudge you, you can do it.

I'd love to hear: What made it possible for you to change careers?

Changing Careers: Research Before You Dismiss

At some point in our careers, most of us dream about doing something completely different. Those of us who want to do more than dream can quickly feel stymied and frustrated.

Many people I talk to who are thinking about making a significant career change feel alone in this pursuit. It seems to them that everyone else is happy enough toiling away at their current job, or have dismissed ideas of change because, "I can't afford it" or "I'm too old" or "What would I do, anyway?"

If you notice that you keep imagining yourself doing something else, you owe it to yourself to look at that carefully and give it due regard.

This doesn't mean you have to follow every whim. But if you pay attention to the truth in your gut and have the courage to research the possibilities, it could be one of the greatest gifts you can give to yourself.

Why does it take courage to research? Because for a lot of folks, there are large psychological barriers to making a career change. We want to stay in our comfort zone (remember homeostasis from science class?) We are used to a certain income per month. The state of the economy seems like a good reason to hunker down. Certain people count on us to continue to be what we are. Facing risk is just plain scary.

When we quickly dismiss our ideas, we get to stay in our comfort zone. When we research, we may find a way to move forward, and we can feel pretty ambivalent about that.

But when you take your ideas seriously and take the time to research the possibilities - talking to people in the field, talking to companies and organizations and researching professional associations, salaries and job openings online - you can experience some relief from the persistent nagging in your gut that you've been ignoring. (Note: "Research" does not mean merely taking one person's opinion as the Gospel Truth).

Through research, you might discover a way to pursue what you want to do "on the side". You might decide that going back to school for a Master's degree is feasible after all. You might resolve once and for all that acting professionally was a pipe dream, and then be ready to put all your energy into something that is going to work for your life.

Doing the research isn't sexy, but it can lead to all kinds of options.

When I talk to a new client who is tentative about sharing her desire to go from, say real estate agent to kindergarten teacher, I've noticed she likes to hear about what changes other people are making. So here's a partial list of the recent changes that people I know professionally and personally have made:

• From mechanical engineeer to attorney to manager at a start-up specialty beverage company
• From college athletic coach to self-employed personal trainer
• From journalist to law school student
• From full-time instructional designer to contract instructional designer
• From laid off administrative employee to self employed retailer
• From technical writer to TV production
• From hi-tech manager to at-home parent
• From corporate training manager to self-employed consultant and professional speaker
• From working for corporations to working in two-person partnerships in law, management consultancy and architecture
• From full-time high school teacher to part-time curriculum designer
• From biotech marketing to self-employed chef-for-hire
• From community college dean to e-learning consultant and retiree

What's your gut nagging you about? What questions need to be answered so that you can do more of what you want to do?

What are you waiting for?

Cultivate a Burning Desire to Reach Your Career Goals

I love beginnings.

Whether it's the start of spring, the first two weeks of a new exercise plan, the start of a new friendship, or the first meeting with a new client, I feel energized, refreshed, invigorated, happy. There's so much possibility and potential, and it feels like I will be enthusiastic and motivated for weeks on end.

Except that I won't be.

Because I can only be at the beginning of something for a certain amount of time before it necessarily becomes the middle of something. And the middle of something feels like a totally different place to be.

Fortunately or unfortunately, we must all journey through the middle to get to the end. And of course I try to embrace the journey as a whole and enjoy every minute. But sometimes I've got my eye on the end results.

So how can I ensure I'll get to the end when I no longer can rely on my enthusiasm for the beginning to propel me forward? How can I maintain that burning desire to get where I want to go?

Glen Allsop of PluginID wrote a great guest post over on Zen Habits with great ideas on how to build a burning desire for your goals that will help you stay in action.

Here are the tips:

1. Pick the right goal.
2. Know you can do it.
3. Know how others succeeded with this (and write it down).
4. Connect with others who want the same thing.
5. Frequently visualize a successful end result.

I like all these points, but I'm especially interested in 1) Pick the right goal, and 2) Know you can do it, because these are by far the most difficult to pull off.

What's so important about picking the right goal? Because we're only going to stick with a process that has ups and downs, such as changing our career or exploring a new career, or searching for a job, if we care deeply about the end result.

If we don't care enough, we're going to quit. This isn't to say that all we need is to care enough in order to achieve something big, but without a deep desire to realize the end achievement, it ain't gonna happen.

How do we know what is a right goal and what is a wrong goal? Glen has some ideas for a litmus test:

• If money didn’t exist would you still do it? (if your goal is a career /hobby)
• Are you working towards it already in your life?
• If I gave you 10 million dollars tomorrow, would it still be in your plans?

That's right, the desire for money just isn't enough to propel us through to the end. If you're thinking that your career goals are primarily about making more money and you're facing some daunting challenges in the execution of these goals, I suggest you create goals that fit the above litmus test and see if that works better for you.

In a world where the only things that are certain are death and taxes, how can we know we can reach our goals? And why is it so important that we know we can?

Our beliefs drive our actions, which drive the results we experience. If we don't really believe we can change our career or start a new business or find a job, we're going to engage in all kinds of behaviors that reflect those beliefs, even if we don't want to or intend to.

Tune in and notice how close or far away you are from truly believing you can achieve your goals. What's getting in the way? What are your most deeply held beliefs about the goals you have in your sights?

If you're noticing limiting beliefs around your goals, list out the actions you see yourself taking that reflect those beliefs. What results are you getting?

Now think about the beliefs you want to have around your goal. What would be powerful, not limiting? And if you truly held these beliefs, what would you be doing? What results do you think you'd experience?

If you just can't inhabit powerful beliefs about your goals yet, then act as if you could. Take the actions that a person who knew they could achieve these goals would take. This is technically known as the "Fake it 'till you make it" strategy.

Before long you'll begin to experience new results that will help you believe that yes, you can achieve what you are setting out to do. Notice when this happens! The new results will be the evidence you are seeking to help you believe in your ability to realize your goals.

When the newness of your career exploration or job search process wears off, and you find yourself in the middle of a challenging time, rekindle your burning desire for change. It just may be that jolt of energy you need to keep going.

What It Takes To Change Careers In Midlife

I get a number of calls every month from people in their late 30’s, 40's or 50's who want to know what kind of process I go through with clients to help them change careers. They’re all revved up about possibility and change. Some of them sign up for the adventure while others, sighing as they hang up the phone, do not. 

Maybe it’s a reflection of my sales technique (I tell the truth, yet with an optimistic attitude!)

Or maybe it’s that changing careers after 10 or more years is an incredibly daunting task. It’s a complex process that takes a whole lot of energy, creativity, persistence and work. And chances are you are already engaged in a life that requires a whole lot of energy, creativity, persistence and work.

I was interested to read this useful piece that sums up the process of changing careers in mid-life. If you’re thinking about it, I recommend you check it out.

Here is an overview of the steps, with my editorial comments:

• Assess yourself (There are 468 ways to do this, including written exercises and various tests.)
• Know what’s important to you. (Pay, hours, challenge, industry, people contact, etc.)
• Find out what’s out there (Research online and/or use a career counselor or coach.)
• Narrow down career options.
• Talk to people in the field (informational interviews, attend professional association meetings).
• Volunteer or work as a temp to try something out first.
• Engage your existing network of people to assist you. (This is one of your biggest advantages over younger career-changers, so use it!)

You've heard about all of these steps before - none are difficult to comprehend. A big challenge for most people is deciding exactly how and exactly when and exactly with whom they are going to accomplish the steps.

But perhaps the most daunting challenge is keeping up the interest, momentum and sheer stamina it takes to change careers, while at the same time navigating the ever-changing currents of the river called My Life Right Now.

Just because you're in the midst of engineering a career change doesn't mean you can't go through a re-org at work, or the dog won't die, or your teenager won't test your limits, or your spouse's mother won't need to move into assisted living, and so on and so forth.

It can be tempting in the face of such distractions to give up on your career change plan altogether. But with a little patience, and a caring person in your life to nudge you, you can do it.

As always I welcome your comments and stories on this topic!

Heather Mundell
Dream Big Coaching Services
www.dreambigcoaching.com
heather@dreambigcoaching.com

Goal Setting That's Actually Fun with 43 Things

My brother told me about 43 Things a long time ago, and recently it's made its way back onto my radar screen.

I've written before about how traditional goal setting often doesn't work for me. I also know that when you want to get something done, you need to write it down and you need support from others. Typically the support you need should come in the form of some kind of accountability, as in "cattle prod", "feet to the fire", or "kick in the butt".

43 Things is a way you can "discover what's important, make it happen and share your progress", online. It takes away the isolation and boredom of trying to change a habit or do something new. The people on it seem cool, too.

Are you looking for a new job? As I write this, 584 people on 43 Things are too. 57 people want to find a career they love. 403 people want to get a better job.

You can request to receive reminder emails about the progress you're making on your goals - your own friendly little cattle prod.

And all of this good stuff is free! Gotta love that.

Check out 43 People and 43 Places for more sharing about, you guessed it, people and places you know, want to go to, or have something to say about.

Heather Mundell
Dream Big Coaching Services
www.dreambigcoaching.com
heather@dreambigcoaching.com

Take a Break and See What Looks Different

These last three weeks for me were not about hanging out in the blogosphere.

I could say I was taking a vacation from blogging, but that would not be strictly true; I was covering things on the home front during a time of reduced child care while my husband was on a vacation visiting "the Mother Land" (Norway). That all led to time out from posting and reading other posts.

As I thought about getting back into the blogging groove I wondered how time away from the routine had affected my attitude about blogging and my level of blogging creativity (this whole endeavor is part journalism, part free-writing, part original thinking and part reporting, yet it's all creative).

And I also mused about how time away from any routine changes how we are once we are back in the routine, even if we weren't hanging out on a beach drinking big pineapple drinks during our time away.

When I was away from blogging I had the space to realize that even though it takes time to write frequent entries and even though it can sometimes feel like I have nothing interesting to write about, when it comes down to it I'm committed to continuing with this. I'm committed to writing helpful, fresh, interesting content for people who want career happiness. In other words, I missed blogging. I missed reading my usual blogs, and I missed the blogosphere in general.

It's kind of like when you watch your young children while they are asleep. They're so angelic, so peaceful, and you can so go on like a sap because they're so blissfully asleep and out of your hair. You've got the distance to see them differently than when they are awake and fighting over the last bowl of Rice Krispies.

If you're engaged in something aggravating career-wise, take a break (10 minutes, 10 days, 10 weeks, whatever is appropriate) and notice what (if anything) is different when you come back to it. Is your commitment to it less strong? Is your intuition about what to do about the aggravation speaking up (and are you listening?)

For example:

• You're having problems retooling your resume
• There's a person down the hall you can't stand
• You've been on 6 job interviews and haven't received an offer
• You've left several messages for someone about a job
• You can't think of anything to blog about (okay, that's mine!)

Stop what you're doing and do something else. Don't think about the issue while you're doing something else; just let it sit in the back of your mind.

Typically if we even recognize our struggle we tend to choose to continue to engage in that struggle, just with more vigor and speed. How often does that work? (That reminds me of the seemingly paradoxical idea of increasing productivity by quieting the mind, but that's a subject for another post, when I'm feeling more Zen).

Instead, take five and see what happens. Create some distance.

You may get the insight you need to approach your old challenge from a new angle.

Heather Mundell
Dream Big Coaching Services
www.dreambigcoaching.com
heather@dreambigcoaching.com

The Seasons of Transition

Sometimes the English language can be so efficient. For instance, one average-length, reasonable-sounding, easy-to-understand word, transition, sums up a process or period of time that can be incredibly complicated and feel terribly unreasonable.

• "I'm in transition."
• "I'm thinking about making a transition."
• "My company has been going through a transition."

These are cocktail party-style summaries you say when you don't want to say, "I absolutely despise my job and I need out" or "I just cannot find a job" or "The constant changes at my company has everyone's morale at an all-time low."

Of course some transitions are fairly straightforward and painless. But others can take weeks, months or even years to experience and create a gamut of emotions.

It's worth knowing whether you're in a transition and where you are in its cycle. When you understand what you're experiencing, you can develop new perspectives, learn how to be a little kinder to yourself and prepare for what's coming next in your transition.

Some of the most insightful ideas I've read on transition are from Carol McClelland, PhD, author of The Seasons of Change. She uses a metaphor of the seasons as a way to describe our personal transitions.

Fall is about preparing for what's to come. You get news of change, you feel your feelings, you wait and you worry.

Winter has three parts. Early - when you retreat and reflect. You feel tired, and you don't know anything. Solstice - when you catch sparks of hope in the darkness. This is the turning point in the transition journey. Late - when you define your vision. You catch new insights, are open to new insights and see glimmers of spring.

Spring is about bursting with energy. You experience some storms and struggle with reentry.

Summer is about celebrating the harvest. You feel confident, have clarity and feel that life is abundant.

Here's an example of how the seasons metaphor applies to a career situation:

• Summer: Work is easy because you know what you're doing and you like it.
• Fall: Rumors start flying about a reorganization. Within a couple of weeks your work group is disbanded and your job duties are changing. You're worried you'll need to make changes soon.
• Winter: You're confused and obsessed about whether you should stay or go. There's no one left to talk with. Then you realize that you want to find a situation more in line with your interests and values. You start to look at options and get ideas on how to proceed.
• Spring: You make connections, leads come in, and you land a great job. Because you spent time during Winter identifying your talents, you negotiate a package that is right for you. You're excited about the potential of this new job.

One reason I appreciate using a metaphor from the natural world to describe change is that before our world was industrialized human beings had a strong connection with nature and its cycles.(Some of us still do but many of us do not.) There is much wisdom in nature. When we were connected to nature we knew that change takes time and is gradual, that it might come in the form of growth or decay, and that we were not in control of it.

Now many of us feel pressured to master change quickly and live in a state of perpetual growth. We believe we should be able to follow a formula and enjoy instantaneous results. When we realize that despite all of our scientific understanding and all of our technology we are still subject to Earth's laws of nature, we are better equipped to navigate our transitions.

The seasons metaphor also brings reminders of tales of the "hero's journey", when heroes or heroines embark on journeys and return home with new wisdom and strength. According to Joseph Campbell, the hero's journey is undertaken by people of all cultures and across many periods of history.

How can all this help you with your transition? When you know what season you are in, transition-wise, you can know what is normal to expect and what are helpful steps to take (read Carol's book for more detailed information!)

For example, most everyone I coach goes through some kind of winter period while we work together. Winter is not a place our society wants us to spend much time in - to be in eternal spring and summer are the expectations. But there is valuable and essential work to be done during winter!Winter is the key to unlocking the future. However, you can't do that work if you are denying that you are winter or trying to skip ahead too early to spring.

Transitions can be exciting, and they can be difficult. When you're aware of your own transition journey and work with it rather than fight it, you are on your way to creating a successful future.

www.dreambigcoaching.com